Tingly sensation

There's a field of butterflies in my heart. That is how I describe my insomnia. Normally, at typically midnight thirty (or way earlier, or at random points in the day), this thing happens where I can literally feel a switch in my brain flip off. And I fall asleep. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, where I'm at, who I'm with... I fall asleep. It's happened in the middle of horrible arguments, when texting people, while driving, etc, etc. I just shut off. I have zero control over it and it's extremely aggravating. But sometimes, (for reasons unbeknownst to me) it does not work that way. Instead, my daytime feeling lasts until very late. I lay down, I close my eyes, I try to relax... And that's when it's completely clear to me what it is to be awake. The feeling of awakeness is painfully acute. Oh, I want to go to bed, I need to go to bed, I have to wake up in five hours, blah, blah, blah. Doesn't matter. My fingers are jittery, my foot starts tapping against the blankets, my eyes flit backwards and forwards, rolling at my attempt at sleeping. I feel all tingly everywhere.... Like my body is just itching for me to take on the world, to conquer! Sleep? What is sleep? I don't need that! Tonight, my palms were tingly and wanting to rest against this laptop. My fingers tensed, ready to type at a silly pace of 111 wpm. Thoughts, flowing, out of nowhere, words bottling up at the tips of my fingers. So, I am not going to suck them back up, instead I will release them! But really, all I wanted to say is that feeling awake is having your heart transformed into a field of butterflies. I can just feel these little flutters in my heart, reminding me that there is love, and beauty, and joy, and creativity. The key is to talk to these butterflies, and even more, to release them!