Settling, but not settling down

Settle: kind of feels like a horrible word.
Settle: rhymes with nettle. Prickly, evil stuff. Think about Jesus' parable of the sower. Chokes the faith out of the believer.

Today has been, AWESOME. And also bad. I got rejected for a job. That was bad. On the A side, I had been feeling like I didn't want to work there anyway. On the A-PLUS side, an article I wrote was published in The News Record! On the EXTRA CREDIT side, I was the only article in today's paper to be commented on. And fifth in popularity.

I had this buzz going. But Jamie was napping. So, I silently did a couple happy dances, and then became bored. But still buzzed! Hello, Bible.

Okay, I'm reading in Exodus. Just in the beginning, chapter four. You know how people say that the Bible just does not "apply to their life?"

What a load of a cow's relative's excrement.

I wasn't reading too deeply into the story, just reading it. This one is all about Moses, and the burning bush, and the plagues, and yoda-yoda-yoda (because what is a yada?). I know this story. I wrote a paper on it in high school. I've got this story in my back pocket.

BUT. And this proves that no matter how well you know the Bible, something new always jumps out.

I was reading in chapter 5, about how Pharaoh is angry and makes Israel work extra hard because of Moses and Aaron. My crazy brain (insane in the membrane) jumps ahead of the story and starts focusing on how the Israelites react to this.
And I quote:
"May the Lord look upon you and judge you (Moses and Aaron). For you have caused us to be hated by Pharaoh and his servants. You have put a sword in their hand to kill us."

Umm. DRAMA QUEENS?????

Seriously though. Work load increased plus beatings equals.... "a sword in their hand to kill us."

Yeah, okay.

And also! Hated by Pharaoh???
Hated?
Because he was just all over them before. Yeah, go Israelites.

Let me fast-forward. God's plan works, the Israelites are freed. There is much praise, rejoicing, and "God-is-good-ing." Current setting: hungry. And quote:

"We should have died by the Lord's hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and ate all the bread we wanted. For you have brought us out into this desert to kill all of us with hunger."

Again. WHAT???????????????????????????

Enough with the drama. I now believe that the Israelites are the social equivalent to a helpless, high-school cheerleader.

(No offense to my high-school cheerleaders. Talkin' bout the stereotype ^_^)

I really want to say that this little complaining thing only happened once.
But, just read the Bible. It's embarrassing.

Now, a lot of talks on this aspect of the Israelites is about how it relates to us and how we are never satisfied with God's promise.

This is similar. But more personal and specific.

I'm reading this chapter and I just ask myself "Why do they settle for that?" It quickly turns into "Why do I settle for guys who I know deep-down are not the one?" This whole issue is something I've been dealing with since the Dan-Amanda split.

I have spent more time convincing myself I am in love (with all of the guys I've dated), then really being in love. What is with that? I realized it comes down to some fear. Fear and the fact that I just really love being in a relationship with somebody. The person to text throughout the day. The person to go with to things. The person to cuddle with. The person to kiss. Blah, blah, throw-up, blah.

Backing away from the cheesiness, now.

This is a true thing for a lot of people out there. We spend all this time picturing the perfect person, wanting to be with someone, feeling insecure about it, and then settling on the first person who steps through the door.

Why?

I think it stems from this fear that there's not going to be that someone who can complement you perfectly. You know the things you really want in a person. But maybe spend time convincing yourself it's not that important? I've done that too many times and have ended up sacrificing whole halves of my identity. With one guy it was my poetic, dreamer side. With another, it was the fact that I kind of like the idea of being a stay-at-home mom and would like a husband who can support me. With another, it was the whole side of me that loves being around all kinds of people.

Enough!

Can't we focus on the fact that God has created the PERFECT someone for us?

Not that they are perfect.

But they ARE perfect for us. Yes, there will be sacrifices you have to make. But not ones that jeopardize who you are! God has made someone out there who LIKES all of those things about you. And it's important to know that just because someone falls head over heels for you, does not mean you are going to be head over heels for them. Don't fall for that.

So. This story just reminded me of all that. The Israelites lead this awful life as slaves to the brutal Egyptians. But when God freed them, they wanted back! They could not hold sight of the glorious future God had promised them. They kept thinking of that first guy-the one who took care of them, even if he was dominating and beat them. Do you get what I'm saying? Don't fall too soon. Keep your eyes on the future. God's future for you. When the time is right, there will be this sense of security.

Yeah :)

Peace up!
Amanda